Ellipses...why we love them...how we abuse them
As defined in formal writing manuals, ellipsis points indicate
that words have been omitted from quoted text. No other use for
them is recognized.
But fan fiction writers have enthusiastically adopted an unconventional
use for the ellipsis, transforming it into a lovely little pregnant
pause that signals dramatic tension or the wistful trailing off
a character's voice. Properly used, the ellipsis conveys a world
of emotional meaning; improperly used, it makes characters sound
like spaced-out valley girls who can't string together a coherent
thought.
Let's start with the form for an ellipsis. Use THREE spaced
points when the ellipsis is placed in the middle of a sentence;
use FOUR spaced points when the ellipsis ends a sentence.
"Xena, I would simply love...to go shopping this
afternoon."
"Shopping? Oh, gods...."
The ellipsis is NOT a substitute for the comma, which indicates
the breaks and pauses that accompany normal rhythms of speech.
Whenever possible, use commas or dashes or even (for the very
daring) semi-colons to signal pauses. Reserve the use of ellipsis
points for moments of heightened emotion.
"I don't know, Xena...I have so many choices...the
green tunic is really pretty...but I love the red
one, too. Maybe I should...look around more."
"Do whatever you want, Gabrielle.... I'm going
over to the leather shop...I'll meet you back at the inn,
later...much later."
"Oh..." said the bard. "Well...I'll
see you...later, then."
Since the ellipses have been used rather indiscriminately in
this scene, it's difficult for the reader to interpret the reactions
of the characters. Which pauses are just patterns of speech and
which are more significant? Witness the difference when the irrelevant
ellipses are replaced with other forms of punctuation:
"I don't know, Xena. I have so many choices: the green
tunic is really pretty, but I love the red one, too. Maybe I
should look around more."
"Do whatever you want, Gabrielle. I'm going over to
the leather shop. I'll meet you back at the inn, later
much later."
"Oh..." said the bard. "Well, I'll see
you...later, then."
In this version it becomes clear that Gabrielle is upset to
hear that the warrior will be gone for the rest of the day.
The meanings implied by this new, informal use of the ellipsis
are quite varied, yet they appear to be easily recognized by writers
and readers alike according to the context in which the ellipsis
is placed. For instance, an ellipsis can be used for an extended
pause longer than the one provided by a comma that
adds special emphasis to the word or thought that follows.
The inn was overcrowded with travelers forced inside by
heavy rains, the same rains that had finally persuaded me to
abandon any notion of camping outside. When we had arrived, they'd
been a sullen group, glowering like a bank of thunderclouds...until
Gabrielle began to speak.
An ellipsis can signal hesitation and stammering due to emotional
stress.
As soon as the tray was emptied, the innkeeper's wife threaded
her way back between the tables. She was headed for the kitchen
when Gabrielle's voice rang out at an especially dramatic line
of her tale. The woman froze in place Then she turned and for
the first time gazed across the room at the bard. She uttered
a soft gasp.
I stepped up and spoke quietly. "Are you all right?"
"What?" The woman broke out of her trance, flustered
and flushed. "Oh, yes, I'm fine...it's just, that bard...she's very
good."
Sometimes difficulty talking comes from physical restraints
rather than emotional stress, such as the gasping of a person
who is short of breath.
I found myself flipped to the ground, flat on my back,
with Xena looming over me. She planted a knee on my chest; her
hands pinned my shoulders back.
"Who are you?" The scowl on her face was terrifying
in its intensity.
"Xena..." I fought for breath against the
crushing pressure on my chest. "It's me...Gabrielle."
There was no reaction from her, no sign of recognition. Fighting
against the dizziness that threatened to cloud my senses, I mouthed
the desperate words, "Let...me...breathe."
An ellipsis at the end of a sentence can imply that a voice
is trailing off in confusion or despair.
The stub of a candle was guttering toward its death when
I stepped into the narrow room. Gabrielle was lying on the cot,
feigning sleep, but I could tell she was awake by the rhythm
of her breathing. After quietly removing my armor, I slipped
under the thread-bare coverlet to join my friend on the straw-packed
pallet. I felt the weight of Gabrielle's body shift and draw
closer. The urge to caress her was so strong....
But bear in mind that overuse of an ellipsis to end paragraphs
can make your characters appear overly tentative and passive.
Again, use this device sparingly, when a trailing off is truly
significant to the emotional context of the scene.
An ellipsis can also cue the reader to the start of a flashback.
In the tavern where we had stopped the night before, the
tavernkeeper's son had shyly approached our supper table and
engaged Gabrielle in conversation. I grudgingly recognized that
he was an appealing young man, if you liked that type, which
Gabrielle certainly had up until then. But that evening she had
been polite, even kind, yet resolutely unresponsive to his mild
flirtations. And afterwards....
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to go?" I said.
"Go where?" asked Gabrielle with a look of puzzlement
as she thrust her spoon into a bowl of apricot pudding.
"To the festival dance. The dance you were just invited
to by that young man." The one who had looked like a lovesick
puppy by the time he had excused himself from our table.
Some of the examples in this section were excerpted from Childish
Games and Well of Sighs, used with the permission of the author...who
happens to be me.
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