This story follows "The Quest" and "Ulysses," two apparently incompatible episodes. Or maybe not...

Rumors of Love

by Ella Quince

Fire and water — such a simple recipe for creating Elysium, thought Xena as she watched Ephiny empty the bucket over fire-baked bricks. Waves of steam billowed up, filling the small hut with moist heat, and the warrior immediately broke into a sweat all over her body. Delicious.

Xena sighed contentedly as she claimed a low bench, the polished wood rubbing smoothly against the bare skin of her thighs. Glancing over at Ephiny, whose fair complexion had flushed a light shade of pink from her toes up to her face, the warrior said, "I really should do this more often."

"You could if you visited more often." The Amazon set aside the water bucket and settled herself on a nearby bench. "It's been too long since you were here last."

"Yeah, well, we got a little distracted."

"Is that what you call it?" snorted Ephiny as she lifted damp blonde curls off the nape of her neck. "I can't wait to hear Gabrielle's version of what you've been doing for the past few months. We hear the damndest rumors about you two sometimes. For instance, there was the one about you killing a hydra single-handedly."

"It was a gryphon, not a hydra," said Xena, leaning back against a wall and stretching out her legs. "I would've needed both hands for a hydra."

"How about getting marooned on some desert island with a sea-god named Cecrops?"

"It was a ship, not an island, and Cecrops is no god."

"And best of all," said Ephiny with a chuckle, "some bizarre tale about you running off to Ithaca with King Ulysses."

Xena's muscles clenched, although she managed to keep her face impassive. For a moment she considered letting that news pass for a rumor, too — but she and Ephiny had been through too much together to start avoiding hard truths now. And Gabrielle needed a friend who understood. So the warrior drew a quiet breath and said, "That one was true."

"Ah." There was a heavy silence as the regent pondered this revelation. "So... where was Gabrielle during all of this?"

"With me." To forestall Ephiny's rising indignation, Xena quickly added, "We're not. Everyone thinks we are, but we're not."

"Really?" The regent failed to stifle the amazement in her voice. "I mean, well... we all just assumed...."

"Yeah, I know," sighed the warrior.

"You both act as if you are."

"Do we?"

"Yes, you do." Xena was still puzzling over that observation when Ephiny added, "Have you considered it?"

"We did, before Ulysses. Then we decided... well, I decided... that it wasn't going to happen between us." She shifted uneasily on the wooden planks, remembering that painful conversation all too clearly; Gabrielle had accepted Xena's rejection with grace and dignity, which somehow made it all worse. "Besides," the warrior muttered under her breath, "I wouldn't know what to do."

"Yeah, right, I—" Ephiny broke off suddenly. Squinting through the steam and heated air, she took a closer look at the woman beside her. "Wait a minute, are you serious?"

Xena bit her lip, dismayed that she had let something so private slip out. What was it about this heat that was loosening her tongue?

"You are serious!" the regent sputtered. "Xena, that's no excuse. I'd never slept with a centaur before, but that didn't stop me from approaching Phantes."

"My situation is completely different."

"Is it? Or are you just too proud to admit there's a skill the warrior princess hasn't mastered?"

"Hey, how hard can it be?" snapped Xena. Stung by the smirk on the regent's face, she said, "It's not as if I'm a virgin. I'm sure I could please her." Well, reasonably sure. After all, she'd never had any complaints from the men she'd bedded. Still, Gabrielle deserved someone who was skilled at making love to a woman, especially after her experience with that fumbling farmboy. What little Xena had heard about their wedding night had convinced her Perdicus had been a poor lover and Gabrielle was simply too naive to realize what she'd missed. 'Pleasant' was not the word a bard should have used to describe a night of passion.

"So what's the real reason you backed off?" asked Ephiny, as if issuing a challenge.

Xena realized there wasn't much point in clamming up now. "I know how she feels, Ephiny. She's been honest with me ever since... ever since I died."

"She loves you — very much."

"Yes, she does. And I love her...."

"But?" prompted Ephiny with a sigh of exasperation.

With a shrug Xena said, "I don't want to promise more than I can deliver. All my life, I've been attracted to men, and a very particular type of man. Gabrielle calls them my 'bad boys.'" She laughed ruefully, then said, with a tinge of wistfulness, "And Gabrielle... well, she's just not my type."

"There are always exceptions," said Ephiny firmly. "I'm proof of that. Centaurs aren't my type either, but Phantes was the love of my life."

"But what if it hadn't worked out, that part of it? Could you have remained friends, close friends, after trying to make love to each other and failing?"

Now it was Ephiny's turn to fall silent for a moment. "It all happened so fast, falling in love, that I never really had time to worry about my reaction to sleeping with him. We just did, and it was fine for both of us." She wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead before it could trickle down her nose. "Maybe that's your problem. You've had too much time to think about this, too much time to worry."

"Maybe," sighed Xena. "But we're... comfortable with this arrangement."

"You mean you are," said Ephiny dryly, "but I suspect Gabrielle isn't. You chose Ulysses over her; that had to hurt."

"It would've hurt a lot more if we'd been lovers when I turned to him. I won't risk our friendship, I won't risk hurting her yet again, when there's a pretty good chance that I can't respond to her."

"It's a risk for both of you. How can you be so sure that Gabrielle won't find out you're not her type. Has she slept with any women?"

Xena hesitated, startled by the sudden twist in perspective. "I don't know. I've never asked."

"Well, if she hasn't before, she can certainly make up for lost time at the festival tonight. There are any number of Amazons who would love to show her a good time." Ephiny looked at the warrior and what she saw seemed to bother her. "Xena, you can't begrudge her that. After all, if you won't sleep with—"

"I get your point," said Xena, more curtly than she had intended, considering that Ephiny was merely stating the obvious. The regent had Gabrielle's best interests at heart, just as Xena wanted what was best for the bard. So if cavorting with a bunch of Amazon warriors could take Gabrielle's mind off Ulysses... Hades, but this place is hot — how can anyone think in here? Springing up from the bench, Xena muttered, "I've had enough," and escaped the oppressive confines of the hut.

---

Maybe it's just lust, reflected Gabrielle wryly as she watched Xena burst out of the sauna hut and head for the river. Hidden in the shadowed interior of their quarters, the Amazon queen gazed out a window and indulged herself with a frank study of her companion. The long-limbed warrior was striking when dressed in leathers, but even more breath-takingly beautiful in the nude. Even after Xena had disappeared from view, the impact of her presence lingered on, sharpening the pain of futile yearnings. Things could be worse, of course. If not for Penelope, they would still be in Ithaca and Xena would be locked in the embrace of a warrior-king.

As she dressed for that evening's entertainment, Gabrielle's thoughts drifted onto a familiar and unpleasant track of cataloging the changes it would take for her to rival Ulysses. She'd managed the muscles well enough, but somehow they didn't look as impressive on someone who couldn't look Xena in the eye without standing on a tree stump. Her staff technique was solid, but it lacked the dramatic flair of wielding a gleaming sword. Not to mention that Ulysses wasn't burdened with the handicap of maintaining his blood innocence. It was an unfair advantage, noted Gabrielle with an edge of bitterness, since it was Xena who had urged the bard to embrace a philosophy of not killing. But Xena's lovers, it seemed, were exempt from ethics that affected their fighting form.

Petty, Gabrielle, really petty.

Ah, yes — temperament was another obstacle. Gabrielle had a hot temper that exploded in verbal tirades. She'd tried channeling her anger into one of those smoldering, flinty-eyed glares that Xena found so mesmerizing in her lovers, but the result had been a sputtering silence that left the bard with a splitting headache.

And then there was that intractable problem of being the wrong sex....

Gabrielle was staring out the window again in the vague hope that Xena — still gloriously nude — would return soon, when she heard the fall of footsteps behind her. Turning, flustered at the thoughts running through her mind, she stammered, "Oh, Ephiny... I was just...." A clever answer eluded her, but the somber look on her regent's face provided a welcome diversion. "What's wrong?"

She watched as Ephiny tugged at her tunic, pulling damp fabric away from her flushed skin. A dunk in the river would have cooled her down, but evidently the regent had more pressing matters at hand.

"Xena told me about Ulysses."

"Oh, good," said Gabrielle, with a sigh of relief. "She's needed to talk about him with someone, and I'm... well, too close to the situation, I guess."

Ephiny's eyes narrowed. "What about you? Don't you need to talk about it?"

With a shrug, she said, "Oh... not really. I mean she's the one who had such a rough time of it, losing someone she loved."

"You lost something, too."

Gabrielle looked up, frozen for a moment by Ephiny's steady gaze, then she smiled sadly. "Nothing real." She waved off the Amazon's protest. "It's true, Ephiny. I've been in love with Xena since the first moment I saw her, but I never really thought about it that often. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew what I felt and what I wanted, but it was like wishing for the moon. She was so far beyond my reach that just being her friend seemed like an incredible gift. So I always expected I would find someone — like Perdicus — who was ordinary enough to love me back."

"There's nothing ordinary about you, Gabrielle."

"Don't," sighed the young queen. "Please, don't. That's where I made my mistake — believing that I'd changed enough that even Xena could want... I was such a fool." Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle spoke the hard truth she had faced over the last few weeks, "If Xena hadn't died, she would never have learned how I feel about her, and she would never have felt obligated to try to love me back in the same way... and I would never have dared dream that she could."

"Gabr—"

"Somehow, Ephiny, I've got to get back to where we were before."

"Can you do that?"

"I have to," said Gabrielle grimly, "before Xena finds another Ulysses. I won't go through that again."

But her resolve wavered when Xena finally returned from the river. The mere sight of the warrior — so familiar to her, yet so compelling — brought an ache to Gabrielle's throat. How could she could continue to travel with Xena, to spend most of the hours of the day with her and sleep beside her at night, and still stem the flood of emotion that arose from that intimacy.

Especially when Xena stripped off her clothes so damn often.

Keeping her eyes averted by sorting through a selection of Amazon jewelry, Gabrielle let her tongue run free, hoping her inane chatter would drown out the sounds of leather and cloth slithering over smooth—

"You don't have to," said Xena.

"Hmm? Have to do what?" asked Gabrielle, frantically trying to remember what she'd actually said.

"Come back here... tonight. If you don't want to. If you... have somewhere else to go."

Gabrielle stared at the warrior, oblivious to her half-dressed state now that her words had sunk in. "You mean 'someone else', don't you?"

With a shrug, Xena said, "It's not as if we... I mean, since I did, with Ulysses, then you could...."

"Yes," said Gabrielle quietly. "I suppose I could." She forced a smile on her face, determined not to give Xena a reason to pity her. "After all, what are festivals for if not to indulge our senses. And I do have a reputation to maintain."

"Reputation?"

"For a strong appetite," she replied, and had the satisfaction of seeing the warrior blink in surprise. It wasn't often Gabrielle succeeded in startling her companion. Pursuing her advantage, she continued, "So, I'd better not keep my subjects waiting any longer."

Her stately exit from the hut was a mixture of bravado and renewed resolve. She was going to have fun tonight — to eat, drink and dance... and perhaps end her evening in the arms of another woman. Any woman would do, as long as she looked nothing like the warrior princess.

---

"I'll have another one of those," muttered Xena, snatching a mug off a passing platter. She took a deep draught of the mulled wine as she watched the figures packed into the dancing circle. As always, her gaze was drawn immediately to Gabrielle, and Xena smiled to herself as she followed the young queen's graceful movements. The smile faded when her sightline was cut off by yet another in a long line of warriors who had approached the queen. This was really getting irritating, although, to be honest, she had to admire their persistence.

Two years of wielding a staff had made all the difference. The clumsy peasant girl who couldn't catch the beat of the drums had been replaced by a young woman who handled herself with poise, even dignity. Earlier in the evening Gabrielle had bested a half-dozen Amazon warriors in an informal joust that had, nonetheless, proven that her title was more than a courtesy. A murmur of surprise had run through the crowd of spectators as the queen soundly trounced each of her opponents, and it took considerable effort for Xena to mask an intense pride in her companion's victory.

Yet, in the catalog of emotions she'd experienced watching Gabrielle, there was one which was conspicuously absent: the thrill of a more intimate combat, of two bodies wrestling with desire. It had been her immediate reaction to watching Ulysses fighting on the beach. Even now, just the memory of that scene roused a tightness in her loins.

Strangely, though, she had hardly ever thought about him once she and Gabrielle sailed away from Ithaca. In fact, on the voyage back she'd felt a twinge of guilt every time she caught a look of veiled sympathy on the bard's face, but she didn't dare confess that her love for Ulysses had ebbed away almost as quickly as it had first appeared. How could she possibly explain that walking away from Gabrielle — leaving her with Perdicus — had been ten times harder than leaving Ulysses with Penelope. She wasn't sure she understood why herself.

And for some reason, watching the young queen flirt with these Amazon warriors was even worse. Where were all those sensitive young men, those ineffectual boys, when Xena needed them? Over the past few years she had learned to count on them to keep Gabrielle occupied.

"Xena, stop that!"

Ephiny's reprimand snapped the warrior out of her reverie. "Stop what?" she asked, startled to see fury glinting in the regent's eyes.

"You know very well what I mean. Stop glowering at any woman who comes within ten feet of Gabrielle. You've scared off everyone who's sober enough to notice you lurking in the shadows."

Xena shrugged. "If they scare that easy, they aren't worth Gabrielle's attention."

"This isn't a test of courage, Xena. It's a dance."

"So, they can dance. I'm not stopping them." She turned her attention back to the young bard and her current partner — who evidently wasn't feeling so well, because she turned slightly pale and bowed out of the circle.

"If I didn't know better...." said Ephiny cryptically. "But that's your problem. Right now, I'm more concerned about Gabrielle. I don't want her seduced by some reckless Amazon who's drinking her way to oblivion."

"That won't happen," promised Xena grimly.

"No, it won't."

The regent pushed her way into the dance circle and took Gabrielle's arm. But Xena's relief turned to dismay when Ephiny embraced the young queen and they began to sway to the beat of the drums.

---

"Thanks, Ephiny. I seem to have trouble keeping dancing partners."

Ephiny leaned close, whispering into her queen's ear. "That's because most of the Amazon Nation thinks you and Xena are lovers." And she nodded her head at the brooding warrior standing on the perimeter of the dance circle.

"Oh." Gabrielle burst into laughter. "So that's it. I'm surprised anyone will dare talk to me then, much less dance."

"Consider it proof of your considerable charms."

"Yeah, right."

"Listen, if you crooked your little finger, any Amazon in this village would follow you home." In fact, Ephiny had hoped to see Gabrielle paired away by now. If the queen was serious about getting over her heartache, she needed to shift her focus away from Xena. "How do you feel about that? About taking one of these women to bed?"

"Well... actually... I thought it would be fun." Gabrielle blushed at the admission. "And I really meant to, but...."

"But you're not quite ready for that kind of fun, are you?" said the regent gently.

"No, I've figured out that much tonight. I liked the idea of taking a lover, but every time one of my dance partners bowed out, I was relieved to see her leave." With a sigh, Gabrielle said, "I'm in love, Ephiny. I want to be with Xena. If I can't be with her, I guess I'll just have to wait until I'm not so... distracted... by my feelings for her." She tried to smile, but Ephiny could see hazel eyes filling up with tears. "Of course, at the rate I'm going, that'll be a few years from now."

Ephiny's loose embrace tightened into a comforting hug, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Xena bolt away from the compound.

"You give Xena too much credit sometimes." The regent felt Gabrielle's body stiffen. Stepping back, Ephiny nearly laughed out loud at the bristling look of indignation on her friend's face. "Hold on, I didn't mean that as an insult. I just meant that sometimes you — all of us, for that matter — assume that Xena's an expert on everything."

"Isn't she?" asked Gabrielle wryly.

"Oh, sure, in matters of fighting and strategy and warfare. But when it comes to more personal matters, you're way ahead of her. In fact, I think the warrior princess could use a little help in understanding her own feelings."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well," said Ephiny, "I have this theory about Xena... and about the difference between lust and love."

Gabrielle listened intently to the Amazon, so intently that they came to a standstill, no longer dancing. "But what if you're wrong?"

"What if I am?" said the regent. "At this point, what have you got to lose?"

---

The hut was quiet, too quiet.

She used to crave solitude, but somehow over the last few years of traveling with Gabrielle, Xena had grown unaccustomed to this uncompanionable silence. A silence which allowed imagined voices to crowd her mind. She tried to ignore them, but they grew louder and clearer until she could hear Ephiny whispering words of seduction to Gabrielle . . . .

Then, with a flush of shame, Xena remembered flirting with Ulysses in the tight quarters of their ship, with Gabrielle lying in a hammock close by.

This uncomfortable reflection was dispelled by the welcome sound of her friend slipping quietly into the hut. There was no need for Gabrielle to light a candle; moonlight streamed through the open window. Xena watched as the queen stripped off her Amazon leathers and pulled on a sleeping shift. Thin fabric strained against the full, curving line of Gabrielle's breasts, then fell in loose folds over her taut stomach and muscled thighs. She's beautiful, realized Xena thoughtfully.

"I didn't expect you back."

Gabrielle started at the sound of the warrior's voice. "You don't mind, do you? I can always go—"

"No! Uh, no, I just... Actually, I'm used to having you around. I was having trouble falling asleep with this bed all to myself."

"Move over then," said Gabrielle with a laugh, and she slipped in beside Xena.

As they settled themselves into a familiar and comfortable arrangement of limbs, Xena said, sincere now that she had the bard safe in her arms, "I'm sorry things didn't work out."

"What? Oh... that. Well, I could have, if I'd wanted to. I'll get around to it — later." She laid her head down on Xena's shoulder and slipped an arm around the warrior's waist. "But right now, this is where I want to be."

Xena hugged the bard, letting loose a sigh that eased the tight band of tension across her chest. On impulse, she pressed her lips ever so softly against Gabrielle's forehead. It was oddly compelling, this surge of tenderness she felt whenever she was near the young woman. Xena had kissed many men passionately, hungrily, teasing them into arousal, but they had never drawn any of this gentleness from her. No one had, for that matter.

"Mmmm," said Gabrielle, and Xena realized she had feathered more kisses against the bard's cheek.

She pulled back. "Sorry, I shouldn't...."

"Why not?" asked Gabrielle quietly.

"I don't want to give you the wrong idea about—"

"Stop." Sea-green eyes searched her face. "Stop worrying about what I'll think, or even what I want. Just tell me what you want."

Xena's throat tightened against the temptation to answer truthfully.

"Xena? Do you know what you want? Right now, this minute."

"Just... to be near you," she confessed, moved by the familiar ache to touch softly, gently, to caress Gabrielle's skin with a lightness that had nothing to do with the sweating urgency of sex.

"I'd like that too," said Gabrielle.

"Even if that's all we do?"

"Yeah." The bard snuggled closer, yawning. "May fall asleep on you, though. I'm awfully tired."

"That's okay," said Xena, relieved by Gabrielle's sleepy disinterest.

A soothing peace settled over the warrior as she held the drowsing woman in her arms. She indulged herself with stroking light-colored hair, delighting in the feel of silky strands against her cheek as she inhaled its sweet smell. Her hand drifted downward from Gabrielle's shoulder, idly tracing the contours that were so different from a man's arm. Muscles, yes, but firm rather than hard... smooth skin with hair as fine as down . . . a small-boned wrist and delicate fingers. Skimming over the worn linen shift, Xena marveled at the graceful lines of Gabrielle's flaring hip and narrow waist... and the swelling curve of the most incredibly soft—

She froze, her heart beating a pattern of alarm at the careless liberty she had almost taken. There were limits, after all, even between the best of friends.

Then Gabrielle's eyes fluttered open, fixing her with a steady gaze. Xena read nothing except calm acceptance in those depths. If she stopped her exploration, there would be no reproaches. If she continued....

What do I want?

To touch, just to touch.... Xena reached out again, moved by a fleeting curiosity, wondering what it would feel like to cup the fullness of Gabrielle's breast in her palm for just a moment...to rub her thumb over the nipple stiffening beneath thread-bare linen...

With a gasp, the bard arched upwards, her body strung taut like a bow. "Oh, gods." Swallowing hard, she said, "Sorry... I didn't expect...."

That was more than just a pleasant sensation, judged Xena, her own breath caught by the beauty of Gabrielle's face — cheeks flushed, lips parted in surprise. So Perdicus had never made his bride feel this way. Xena moved her hand again, felt the bard tremble...

...and like dry grass touched by a spark, the warrior's love caught fire.

"This is what I want," Xena whispered hoarsely, "right now, this minute." No one else's hands but hers on Gabrielle, no one else's mouth and tongue. Gabrielle's fingers tangled in her hair, and Xena felt the gentle pull that wordlessly pleaded for more. She dipped her head down, bringing their lips together. For a moment she thought a kiss would quench this unexpected hunger, but then the kiss deepened, pulling her into a maelstorm of desire.

It was easier to make love to Gabrielle than she had imagined. She knew, without thought, without decision, the places on a woman's body that would welcome her, that craved to be caressed. And yet it was also harder than she could have imagined because she grew dizzy listening to the soft cries raised by her touch. Nothing could have prepared her for the mixed fragrance of their arousal, the silken textures, the sweet flavors. Under this assault of the senses her controlled movements gave way to a fevered groping, made all the more desperate by her lover's urgings. Then she watched, awestruck, as Gabrielle was lost in rapture, impaled by a caress of such deep-driven intimacy that Xena felt as if the bard's heart was beating in the palm of her hand.

The gathering force of her own release caught the warrior by surprise. Moved by nothing more than the sight of Gabrielle's pleasure, Xena's body was lifted as if by swelling tides and dashed against the farthest shore she could have imagined.

Oh.

Oh, my.

When the pounding of Xena's pulse finally began to slow, Gabrielle stirred enough to whisper, "If I didn't know better, I'd say we just...."

Drawing ragged breath, the warrior said, "You think so?"

A soft laugh tickled her ear. "Hey, I'm not the expert. You tell me."

"Not sure." She would have laughed too if she weren't so winded still. "That was... something new. I've never done that before." Not with this wellspring of emotion which had infused every touch with breath-robbing significance.

"This was new for me, too."

"So," said Xena, letting her hand drift down the sweat-slickened back of the young woman sprawled beside her, "let's not be too hasty. Maybe we should try this again before we reach any definite conclusions."

"How very practical," said Gabrielle. "I've always admired that in a warrior princess."

"And thorough. Don't forget thorough."

By mutual consent, it took them until dawn to settle the issue beyond doubt.